Jan 9 Skate Skiing

January 9, 2010


Dear Bret,

It is a wonderful winter day in Wisconsin. The sun is shining and everything is covered with fresh snow. It is 15 degrees which is not that bad so long as you are working hard or in your car with the heater turned on. I am sitting at the kitchen table and watching one of the neighborhood kids trying to snowboard down the little hill next to their house. Yesterday afternoon my friend and I went and rented skate skis from REI. We went to the golf course by our church at about 10:00 a.m. The temperature was less than 10 degrees when we started but we were dressed comfortably and soon worked up a sweat. It was only my second time on skate skis and I was horrible. I wondered whether maybe I am too old to try and start something new like this but then I decided there is no reason I cannot learn, the only real obstacle is laziness. As we were skiing we stopped a number of times to catch our breath. When I looked around it was a beautiful scene. Except where the ski trails had been packed, the golf course snow was completely undisturbed. There were no tracks of any kind. The bright sunlight sparkled on the snow. I thought that even if I am a lousy skate skier it is sure a lot better being outside than riding my bike in the basement. We skied for almost three hours and I wore a heart rate monitor to see how hard I was working. At the I determined I had worked a little harder than if I ridden my bike for three hours. The muscles at the top of my legs are really sore and I wonder if I will be able to get out of bed on Sunday morning. My friend who went with me did not have a good time and I may not be able to get him to go again.

One day last week at lunch we had a discussion about ice fishing. Some outsider like me suggested that it was just a reason to go out and get drunk with your buddies but we soon learned otherwise. I found out there are sheds that you have to pull out on the ice with snowmobiles and there are pop-up huts that are built onto a sled and then there are guys who just go out and drill a hole. One man said his father in law goes out ice fishing alone several times a week because it is his chance to fish parts of the lake that are otherwise accessible only by boat. I guess one type of fishing involves drilling a bunch of holes and dropping the bait down the hole tied to a flag and when the flag pops up you go get the fish. I think fishing is boring as it is and nothing about ice fishing made me think that it would be another thing for me to pursue.

Things are definitely back to normal after the holidays. I have lots of work and feel like I am not keeping up very well. This next week we have to spend several days doing personnel reviews which will keep me from getting any of my real work done. On the other hand being busy is much better than the alternative. This week I have had to get involved with a lot of compensation issues in order to allow our company to comply with some unusual New York regulations. All of our internal sales people are part of a union and there compensation is the result of negotiations with the union. I have never had to deal with union issues and it has been interesting to see how this works in real life. What will be even more interesting will be if we determine that the union negotiated agreement violates the New York regulations.

It started snowing on Wednesday night and snowed all day Thursday so we had 7 or 8 inches of new snow. Janice and I had someone coming to stay with us on Thursday night so I wanted to be sure our driveway was clear of snow. I used the snowblower before work and cleared the driveway. Janice called me at 10:00 a.m. and asked if I had shoveled because it did not look like it. She used the snowblower and cleared it again around noon. Although the snow had stopped I had to clear it again at 9:00 p.m. because the wind was blowing drifts across the driveway. In the evening our visitors came and the walks looked pretty good. There is a young couple in the ward who just had their third child and live in an apartment much smaller than Brooke’s condo. We offered to let his parents stay with us when they came to see the baby and they are here now. They are a nice older couple in their 70s. The grandfather was a missionary then mission president in Tonga. I think they appreciate the room with the king size bed. They said when their daughter-in-laws parents came before the baby was born one of them had to sleep in the hall.

Sunday

I did get out of bed after skate skiing but I am pretty stiff with muscles that just don’t get used much. Sacrament meeting was not too exciting. The speakers rehashed conference talks. Each of them spent just a minute talking about their own conversions and some personal spiritual experiences. I wish they had spent the whole time discussing their own experiences because they are much more interesting and there is a much stronger spirit when they speak from their heart. Janice and I attend the family relations class and we have a teacher who is very well prepared and I think does a good job with that class. One thing that I notice is that when the teacher spends so much time preparing and is so well prepared it motivates me to be better prepared for the class because I don’t want him to think his efforts are unappreciated or unnoticed.

Janice and I were slow sending out Christmas cards but we finally got them out and we are still getting responses back from people who had not had our new address. The Hardings sent a nice note. They said David Nichols in your mission is from their Ward in North Carolina. Do you know him? They also said that Corrine is engaged to be married in April to a young man headed to law school. I bet that will feel weird when the Young Women you knew start to get married. Alex Barrow called me last week because I had sent his father a link to apply for working on the river. I will let you know if he decides to go.

There is not much else going on here. Brooke said that at her last Dr.’s appointment they estimated her baby’s wait at more than 6 lbs. so he will be a pretty big baby in another month when he is born. Janice seems to be looking forward to going to Southern California when the baby is born. I am not sure whether she is more excited about helping with Zachary or going someplace warm and sunny. Jenny said that she likes her internship at the school so much she is going to go four days a week instead of just three. I think it is great that she has found something that she enjoys. Clint said that Taylor called him looking for a referral to an attorney in Utah County. Clint said he told Taylor “I can go to Utah County” but Taylor said the clients told him they wanted someone who lived near Provo and not someone from Salt Lake. Clint said it was nice to talk to his cousin and funny talking about professional things not just family stuff. My parents went to Arizona. I will find out how they are doing tonight. Janice is singing on the phone with Ali right now. Her favorite song is “You are my Sunshine.”

In our Family Relations class we were talking about the fact that the biggest indicator of successful marriage is “unity” and one way to measure unity is by seeing how successfully the couple shares leadership. Sharing leadership is an indication that each party recognizes the strengths of the other. The flip side is that the unsuccessful marriages are characterized by a lack of unity. No recognition of the other party’s strengths. I thought the same thing applies to missionary companionships. The most successful companionships are those where they are unified and each person contributes based upon his strengths. It sounds like you and your companion are doing well. It is good to hear of your successes. Keep working hard and work together taking advantage of one another’s strengths.

Love,

Dad

P. S. Janice says you probably don't read my letters because they are too long. Let me know if I should edit them down to the most important facts and leave out the ice fishing stuff.

Aquarium With Zach and New Year

Zach and a sting ray

Scary Jelly Fish

Zach took this photo of Ross, not bad for a 2 year old

January 3, 2010


Dear Bret,

Its hard to imagine that it is 2010 and almost a year since you left. I am looking forward to your return so that I can stop writing letters every weekend. Friday morning I went out and retrieved the newspaper. The front page of the newspaper had a short forecast for the day – it said partly cloudy and frigid. The frigid part seems pretty accurate the high is supposed to be about 10 degrees and the low is supposed to be around minus 3. I was debating whether or not to go cross-country skiing. I thought I should go but the temperatures seem kind of cool. I decided to wait until afternoon so the temperature hits double digits and start on your letter instead.

We left Brooke’s house early Tuesday morning. Monday we had a nice day. First, we went to the Long Beach Aquarium. It is a nice aquarium right on the coast. Zachary made it a lot more fun. We saw Nemo and Dorey lots of times and some big sharks and puffins. Everything went smoothly until Janice dumped her cell phone into the tank where you can pet the sting rays. My blackberry also crashed on the trip so the only phone we had was your old cell phone. I kind of liked having the excuse that my phone broke and I couldn’t check e-mail or get messages. After we had enough of the fish we went outside and ate our lunch on the lawn while fighting off sea gulls and pigeons. The temperature was in the 70s and more than once Janice asked why we moved to Wisconsin. I do love the weather in Southern California but I also like the fact that I haven’t driven on an 8 lane freeway with traffic backups at 3:00 o’clock in the afternoon since I left California and Houston. Monday night we went to dinner at the Claim Jumper restaurant then went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. We went to the movie a half hour early and waited in line to get tickets - another thing we do not do in Wisconsin. Aaron and I enjoyed the movie and Janice hated it. Brooke was silent (an unusual position for her). Our flight back to Wisconsin was uneventful and the cab was there waiting for us to take us home. It pretty funny that the cab driver was an older white guy with his wife in the car, we knew we were back in Wisconsin.

I went back to work on Wednesday and Thursday. It is nice to be in the office when so many other people are out. I had very few phone calls and interruptions so I could just work on some projects that I had and make lots of progress. I already have 6 meetings scheduled for Monday which means that I will have very little time for work and instead will simply receive more work and fall farther behind on what I need to get done.

We had a pretty wild New Years Eve. First Janice and I went to see a movie with some friends from the Ward (he is the institute director and interesting guy). We went to see a movie called Invictus. It was the story of how Nelson Mandela used the South African rugby team and its road the winning the Rugby World Cup to unify South Africa after the end of apartheid and his election. It had a nice message about forgiveness and not seeking retribution in order to move forward. The poem Invictus by William Earnest Henley which gave the movie its title was something Mandela gave to the rugby team captain saying that it had inspired him while he was in prison for 25 years. It has long been a favorite poem of mine.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

One reason I like going with the friends we were with is that I could ask him if he remembered the poem Orson Hyde (an apostle from the early days of the church) wrote in response to Invictus and he knew what I was talking about. Orson’s response is kind of corny and talks about how the Lord is the Captain of our souls. I think Orson missed the point that we decide how we will react to the world around us. I assume when Mandela was in prison with no control over what happened to him the poem motivated him because it reminded him that he was responsible for how he reacted to the situation and the guards could never take away his agency/soul. An interesting side note is that your uncle Kent wrote the words “bloody but unbowed” on his helmet in Viet Nam.

After the movie we went to the “Music Conservancy” in the booming metropolis of Mazomanie population 1450. We were originally going to a restaurant in the town but the wife, who is from the area, was looking for someplace with music and she heard that we could go to the conservancy and get all you can eat barbecue and live music for $20. The conservancy is an old converted church. The barbecue was good meat but the just had chips and coleslaw to go with it. The music, when it finally started, was a blues band that played Rolling Stones, BB King and Jimi Hendrix. I thought the band was pretty good but they spent a lot of time jamming on each song so it took about 30 minutes to play three songs. In addition, the church was not very big and we kind of got blasted out by the band. We left after the first set and were home before midnight. I thought it wasn’t as successful evening as we had hoped but we took a chance and it was certainly a memorable experience. We took the scenic route home and the woman who had grown up here showed us where her family farm was, where her brother and mother lived, where her uncle’s farm was, etc. There was a full moon and the moonlit snow covered fields looked like postcards. It has continued clear and cold the past several days. Just as beautiful as the moonlit fields are the sunsets in the evenings. On the clear nights the sunsets are pink and red and as the sun sets over the snow covered fields and it can be pretty spectacular. Janice told me today that the cold doesn’t bother her so much as long as the sun shines. She said that on the cold and clear days she can sit in the house with the blinds up and no matter how cold it is outside it is warm and sunny in the house and she is okay.

I never made it skate skiing because all the skate skis were rented out for the weekend . The other member of the Bishopric went and he showed me a picture with icicles of sweat forming on his hat. Just because it is 4 or 5 degrees doesn’t stop you from sweating but the beads of sweat don’t go far before they freeze. Without the skiing I was forced to get my exercise by shoveling snow off our porch, doing my P90X workout and riding my bike in the basement (it all adds up to a pretty good workout). On Friday night Janice and I went to see another movie (the Blind Side about a black homeless boy befriended by white family who becomes a start football player)and on Saturday we watched more movies on TV and I finished another book. The colder weather forces you to change your lifestyle for a period of time and I enjoy the fact that I can have more time for reading. There probably won’t be any movies for us to see at the cheap theaters for a while because we will have seen them all during the winter.

Today was our first Sunday on the later 11:00 o’clock schedule. There were lots of people at church which was good but we had lots of visiting grandparents and some students home for the holidays. Janice and I came home from church then turned around and drove back to a baptism. It was a baptism for an 8 year old but they had lots of non-member family at the meeting. Even though our ward here is very spread out they support baptisms well.

I thought it was funny that last week in the Barrow’s letter to their missionaries Diane said that they took the airboat out over the holidays and got it stuck so bad on a sandbar they had to get a ride back and then get someone else to go out and pull the boat off the sandbar. I am glad that never happened to us.

I kind of feel like the holidays are completely over and its back to the regular routine tomorrow. One of the novels I just finished was called Out Stealing Horses. It was a story told by an old man reminiscing about experiences as a young man in Norway. He had some good experiences and some difficult experiences and I think one of the themes of the book was how those experiences contributed to making him the man that he became, whether he realized it or not. It appeared that some of the difficulties he faced as an adult were directly related to his reactions to what he experienced as a teenager even though he never realized that until he was older. I share this with you because I think it demonstrates why serving a mission can be so important. Even though you may not realize it serving a mission and the experiences you have now will alter the rest of your life. For those who have a positive experience and develop their testimonies that knowledge and strength can be the foundation you rely on to build your future. Interestingly, I think that even those who do not remain active in the church will still say that their missions taught them lessons that affected how they viewed the world and how they interact with others. Do your best and make your mission a n experience that will shape you in positive ways. You indicated that you and your companion have committed to be more obedient. I think you will find that when you make those commitments you will grow and have great experiences . This is a perfect example of something that will help you now and in the years to come.


Love,


Dad

12 27 09 Christmas Visits

Summer (L) and Ali (R)

Zach's beloved Christmas Tre

Brooke, Aaron, & Zach

Pa Pa Ross & Gamma Janice giving Zach a ride in his new dump truck

Pa Pa Ross and Grandma Janice with Ali & Summer at Clint's house

Clint & Summer (Did Santa Come?)

Ali and her new tutu  (don't know how to turn this photo)

Kelli Cookin up a good Christmas breakfast

Love the olive green counter tops!

Aunt Alisa reading the beloved Davey book to Ali & Summer

Sleding on Christmas afternoon

December 27, 2009

Dear Bret,

Even though we just spoke a couple of days ago I thought I would give you a little more detail about our Christmas. We left Madison at 6:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning. We got a cab to the airport because we realized the two cab rides are less than the parking if you are gone more than 5 days. Everything went fine until we got on the airplane. It was snowing lightly but we didn’t think that would be much of a problem until they ran out of de-icer for our plane. We sat on the runway for about two hours then got off the plane, then reboarded eventually we got to Chicago and on to Salt Lake. There was another young couple traveling to Salt Lake with their little girl and I was worried Janice was going to make me give up our seats on the new flight if they didn’t get on but they were the last ones called and I didn’t have to be a good Samaritan.



Clint picked us up at the airport in Salt Lake and we drove his car to Jenny’s condo while he went back to work. The weather in Salt Lake was exactly the same as in Wisconsin about 27 degrees and lightly snowing. Kelli picked us up a little later in their van and we drove down to Temple Square. Clint met us and we went with him and the girls to hear Spencer sing in the Assembly Hall with the Brighton High Choruses. We looked at the lights then went to eat at a Thai restaurant near Clint’s house. The owner of the restaurant speaks Thai with Clint and the food was pretty good so it was a nice dinner.

On Wednesday we did the skate ski thing. Clint was better than Jeff or I because he said he is a better roller blader than either of us. I think there is something to be said for his roller blading experience but I also think that the extra pounds that Jeff and I carry really slows us down. I like skate skiing more than the traditional cross-country skiing because it is so much faster. But, it is a lot of work. I am going to rent some skate skis in Wisconsin again before buying any to make sure it doesn’t bother my knees. The guy who taught us our lesson was 65 years old and in great shape. I thought I should do something like this when I retire. Then I thought I probably could work 5 hours a week as a consultant for a life insurance company when I am 65 and make more money than he does working 40 hours. Jeff said the same thing about the fact that our professions allow us to work even when we are old and still make a good wage.

After skiing I went and visited with my parents. I didn’t do much to help them but the visits probably break up the day. Your Grandfather has changed a lot in the last year or so but he knew who I was and recognized Janice when she came. He doesn’t move around to quickly and gets confused but they get by. They are headed to Arizona soon and we will see how that goes. My mother is still trying to needlepoint Christmas stockings for the great-grandchildren. It has become a year round task because they multiply so rapidly. She says she is 5 or 6 stockings behind based upon recently born children and pregnancies that we know about. I think you and some of the younger grandchildren may need to learn how to needlepoint yourselves because there may be so many great-grandchildren by the time you are married she will be hopelessly behind.

On Wednesday night we went to a Wiggins family party in Farmington. I feel badly that I don’t know Linda and Randy’s children better and they have a slew of grandchildren so I may never know who they are. We had a nice visit with Kent, Cherie, Haley and Trevor (Haley and Trevor love speaking Spanish to each other) after everyone else left. Trevor says you have good Spanish. He showed us pictures of the Elders playing with the crocodiles and the week you hurt your toe. I thought it was interesting that Trevor said he isn’t going to play baseball anymore but wants to play soccer. He said he might play softball with Wes’ team. I said if Wes doesn’t use him I am sure Clint and Kelli will find a spot on their team.

On Thursday I spent some more time with my parents and then we went out with Kelli’s family for her mother’s birthday. I visited with Jeff’s sister who spent several summers with us on the river. After the dinner everyone went out and Janice and I watched the little girls. I felt kind of badly that we had Clint and Kelli load them in the van then Janice and I got in and drove off. As we were driving the DVD stopped playing and the girls asked for it to be changed. Janice didn’t know how to make the DVD work and as we were responding to them was when they realized their parents were not the ones driving the car. They were surprised and a little unsure of what to do when they realized they had been kidnapped but gradually came to accept it. Janice and I took the girls to Canovas and visited with them and my parents and added a little more energy to their Christmas Eve. The nice thing about the little girls is they let 4 people read them the same Christmas book. But they didn’t do so well with our attempt to have a real nativity program – they kept playing with the paper that wrapped the props. Thursday night we saw Clint’s house for the first time. There is plenty of room in the house but it has some unusual architecture and could use some updating.

Thursday night we wrapped presents then got up and went to Clint’s for Christmas. It was fun watching the girls open their presents and Grandma Janice bought them more than they needed but it wouldn’t feel like Christmas if it wasn’t a little bit overboard.

In the evening I played with the girls while Clint and Kelli went to visit my parents. It isn’t hard to entertain them – you either chase them in circles around the house or lay on the floor and let them climb on you. I went for the laying on the floor option. Unfortunately, Janice gave them a pretend Doctor kit and they spent lots of time looking in my ears and nose and giving me shots in my nose. It got kind of annoying after 30 minutes but they were happy and I didn’t want to stop the fun. Sometimes the girls tell us all sorts of things but we cannot understand them. When we tried to get Summer to go to bed she kept asking for her blanket and we were quite unsuccessful in locating the correct blanket. Eventually we figured out the correct blanket was on her nap time bed in another part of the house. When we retrieved the blanket life went much more smoothly. It was funny Summer knew what she wanted, she knew where it was and she told us but there was a lot lost in the translation.

Yesterday we flew to Californian and that flight had no weather problems. It is kind of weird to leave snow and end up in 70 degree weather. As I sat in Priesthood meeting and looked out the window everything looked so green and sunny it just didn’t seem right. It was nice to go to church with Brooke and Aaron. They have a nice ward and the teachers were all good. After church we hauled in the presents we had brought with us and Brooke said it was like having Christmas a second time (maybe it was also just a little over the top). We came back to the hotel so Janice and Zachary could have their nap time and now we are going back to Brooke’s house for dinner. I laid on the floor and played with Zachary. It hurts my back but it isn't hard to entertain him we just play with cars and trains.

On Monday we are going to the Long Beach aquarium. Aaron is going to work but will meet us later in the evening for dinner and a movie.

It was nice to talk to you on Christmas. You sound the same (with a little bit of a Mexican accent) so we know it is you but at the same time we realize you have changed. I am sure there are lots of stories and experiences you will share when you come home it just the in between calls can be kind of awkward because no one really knows what to say. You seem to have a good attitude and are working hard which makes us proud.

I finished a book about the Mormon Trail on the first part of the trip. It was written by a non-Mormon author who had a great deal of respect for the pioneers and what they did. There were lots of great stories but one thing that struck me is what the Saints could accomplish by working together. The pioneers were following the path of the Donner Party when they entered the Salt Lake Valley. The author said the Donner party had to use all their teams to pull one wagon at a time over the hill at the mouth of Emigration Canyon. In 4 hours the advance team cut a road around the hill, they then entered the valley dammed city creek and were irrigating crops before Brigham Young and the rest of the initial group entered the valley on the 24th of July. He said that many parts of the western trail that deviated from the path taken by the Mormons were never improved because they cared nothing for those who were coming after them. The work you are doing in Mexico is pioneering work in many ways. You and your fellow missionaries are building up these branches wards and stakes. You may never get a chance to go back and see what you have created but by each of us working together and planting crops to be sowed by others we are engaged in a great work. Our callings today have changed but if we each contribute and do our part we can and will accomplish great things. A speaker today in Brooke’s sacrament meeting said he had a chance to go back to England this summer where he served 30 years ago and he had no idea then what would come of the efforts of those Elders so long ago. I hope you realize great things will come of your efforts, but it takes time and the efforts of others for us to carry out the Lord’s plan. If you ever get discouraged just try to imagine what your area might be like if you went back in 30 years.

Love,

Dad

P.S. BYU and Utah both won their bowl games handily. BYU killed Oregon State and Utah handled Cal. The teams they beat were top teams from the PAC 10 which is great for the MWC Conference and bad for the PAC 10. Utah has a freshman quarterback who was the MVP of their game so the future looks good.